I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
