Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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