Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
