I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
