Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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