Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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