Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
