Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
