Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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