Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
