Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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