I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
