my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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