ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
