Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
