saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
