At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
