shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The air was thick with penises
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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