so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it's like iHOP with fire
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
