Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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