I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
