ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
