Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
