? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
