True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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