belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
