Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
