i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
