Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
