Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
