i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
