I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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