you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
