Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
