I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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