his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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