Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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