When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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