Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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