Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
