I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
