you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just forgot I was standing up.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
