My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
