don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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