Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
