ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
