Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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