Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
