this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
