Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
two words...techno handjob
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
